hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
