Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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