just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
