Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I pour the whiskey from now on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
