Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
