Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize