I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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