you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
