dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize