I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
