I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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