So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
