I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They are going to name an STD after you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
