So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
