Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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