If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
