she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My friends, they love my intelligence
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize