In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
