I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
