Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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