ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize