I smell stomach acid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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