I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
