Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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