Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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