ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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