You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
