Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
