she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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