dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish i was in the wii world.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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