my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i drank out of a bidet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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