"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
