No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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