My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
