ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
