Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
