tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
