I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
