did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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