the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
