Sponge bath it is.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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