dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
