You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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