she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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