drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
