What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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