Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
