No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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