I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
