Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
