i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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