seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
