Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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