Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
