did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
