I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
