Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
