I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
