My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
