I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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